I have been in fandom for twenty years.
That is a staggering statement, when you think about how many people either transition out of fandom or leave it behind for greener pastures. But here I am, years later.
And to be frank, I'm a little worried.
You see, I keep reading about girls who make suicide attempts in the name of their beloved stars. Girls who have marred their skin in the name of Justin Bieber. Girls who are lost and have attached themselves, in hope and in desperation, to fandom and end up worse off for it.
So here are ten handy tips that will help you get through life in fandom and come out the other end of it feeling better about yourself, your childhood and you
1: It’s not really about the band: It's a little shocking to type out, isn't it? But fandom, for the most part, isn't just - or even mostly - about your attachment to a band, an actor, or a show. It's about finding other people like you with opinions, about sharing time with them and talking about what connects you. THIS DOESN'T MEAN THAT YOU'RE NOT A "TRUE FAN". Everyone gets into fandom for different reasons - but you shouldn't feel guilty if the friends you make in fandom feel more important to you than the band you talk about. This is a healthy, wonderful thing, unless the people you hang out with go too far.
2: Here’s what to do when they do go too far. We've all been there: maybe somebody you know made an inappropriate Tweet to an actor. Maybe they sent a topless picture over Twitter to that person, or sent along a piece of fanfic to an actor. Every fandom suffers through these hiccups, and every fandom has dealt with it in a different way - some more extreme than others.
he best thing to do if someone you're close to - or maybe even you -does something the rest of fandom finds inappropriate is to apologize, quickly and simply. What turns a simple mistake into an infamous incident that spawns quotefests and fandom memes is the perpetrator's inability to let it go. Lay low for awhile, then come back. You may have detractors, but you'll also have maturity on your side.
If one of your friends has made a mistake (and not the sort of mistake that's utterly unforgivable such as using a slur and refusing to apologize or take it back), off them your general support, but avoid trying to white knight for them - that will make things worse for your friend and deflect the heat onto you.
3: Fanfiction: Or how to have a thriving career as a fanfic writer without anyone – not even your future employers- knowing about it.
So you want to write fic, but you're afraid someone will find out you ship Garfield and Morris the Cat? We have a solution for that, and it's called the nom de plume. Pick an ID that's far from your own name, make a junk email through gmail or yahoo, then post to your heart's content. If you're really paranoid about being found out, do what your elders have always done in times of crises; use an anonymizer.
4: If you ever meet your favorite celebrity, try to think before you act.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN THAT YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE A FANPERSON MOMENT. It's just that you might not want to be remembered fondly years later in someone's autobiography as the girl or guy who told celeb x he has a great ass. Or maybe you do! But if you don't, try to formulate what you wanna tell your fave celebrity in your head before you say it. This usually helps. Kind of.
5: But don’t let any faux pas haunt you for the rest of your life.
They say the internet never forgets, but you have to either misbehave spectacularly or accidentally create the meme to end all memes to be remembered. Relax, keep your head down, and wait for it to blow over.
6: Never feel guilty about spending money on fandom-related stuff.
Unless it gets out of hand.Fandom can be a great teacher about moderation, when to exercise it and when to go whole hog.
7: Try to be happy for them.: Don't bash those spouses, or even those children! That doesn't mean you can't be sad when your object of affection gets married, but their happiness does not hinge on you - nor yours on them.
8: Remember that other people are going to like other bands; and it’s okay if they don’t like your band too.
Flame wars will get you noplace fast, especially when you all have a simple and yet common goal.
9: Your idol may do some crappy stuff eventually.: This might be anything from making a minor faux pas of manners to something truly terrible. The choice is up to you whether or not they should be forgiven or you should find a new fandom.
10: Above all, some day you’ll be able to look back on it all and laugh.
Trust me on this one! I repeat: twenty years, many mistakes, still learning.
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