Monday, November 9, 2015

The Ten Most Essential Rifftrax of All Time

Over five years ago, Rifftrax was established by Mike Nelson, offering audio commentaries to be played alongside big budget  mainstream motion pictures, In the way they never could due to budget constraints on MST3K.  He was eventually joined by Kevin Murphy and Bill Corbett, and the business eventually expanded to include downloads for full-length motion pictures and shorts as well as live events.

The series has an achingly funny back catalog and here, in my opinion, are the best of the best that they have to offer.

WARNING: The list under the cutline is very video-intensive!






10: The Apple

Reason It’s On The List:  An attempt to capitalize on the big musical revival sparked by Grease, “The Apple” is a disco-influenced moral play in which the world is saved from woozy capitalism by sitar-stroking hippies living in underground communes. 

The end result was a movie so bad that its premiere audience pelted the screen with the free soundtrack album copies they received as souvenirs.    It’s the kind of movie that’s ripe for riffing, and the gang doesn’t miss the mark once with this classic piece of work.  It’s one of those rare riffs that makes absolutely every second of the hallucinogenic experience even better.

Signature Quote:  Bill (To the tune of “Sympathy for the Devil”): Please allow me to introduce myself – I’m trying to remind you of a better devil song!
Kevin: Whoo whoo!





9: The Last Airbender

Reason It’s On The List: This M. Night Shyamalan epic was guaranteed infamy from the moment it cast its predominantly POC characters with inexperienced white actors.  On every single level the movie’s a disaster, from awful CGI to terrible acting to the way it mauls the show’s plot.  The guys tear through the whole experience with total aplomb, making it a must see.

Signature Quote: Kevin (Mocking the awful CGI): Eat moderate patches of dampness!






8: Birdemic

Reason It’s On The List: Sometimes when the gang tears into an infamous turkey it’s a hit-or-miss experience (See: the duel riffs from the Sharknado franchise and the somewhat dull take on the ’98  version of Godzilla).   Not so the infamous Birdemic, which survived both an audio riffing and a live version and manages to be entertaining in every single incarnation.  The whole movie is so ripe for riffing that they literally can’t do wrong, and they cherry pick every ridiculous scene into comedy gold.

Signature Quote: I wanted to quote everything they had the birds say, but:
Bill: Sadly tonight, the only inconvenient truth was in Rod’s pants…






7:  Wonder Women

Reason It’s On The List:   A Ross (Sidehackers and Hellcats) Hagan film that sadly does not involve the Amazonian princess but does involve an extremely convoluted plot about brainwashed women, a super macho Bond knock off and some extra-convoluted fight scenes.  What makes everything flow together so beautifully is again the way the movie’s absurdity dovetails into the Riffer’s sense of the onscreen weirdness being presented to them. 

Signature Quote: Anything in this chase scene.





6: The Last Slumber Party

Reason It’s On The List: A schlocky, poorly acted horror movie with a hilarious number of twist endings, The Last Slumber Party gained a moderate amount of fame as a VHS shockathon.  What makes this one great is how the entire troupe manages to stretch humor out those long, awkward pauses between kills.

Signature Quote:   Kevin:  Oh Mittens!  You’ve killed again!






5: Glitter:

Reason It’s On The List: A rare riff shared by Mary Jo Pehl and Mike Nelson, the commentary manages to skewer the movie’s innate goofiness beautifully.

Signature Quote: Mary Jo: “Did we miss the montage where they tried on kooky hats?”






4: Rock N’ Roll Nightmare:

Reason It’s On The List: A fever dream from the mind of Jon Mikl Thror in which Satan and an angel – sent to earth in the form of a hair metal-singing rock star – must do battle.  There are puppets and a lot of baby oil in this one, and it proves as delightfully sharp as their other Riff of Thor’s work, Rock N Roll Nightmare.

Signature Quote: Bill: Discount Galadriel has spoken!








3: The Star Wars Holliday Special

Reason It’s On The List:  An infamous turkey that George Lucas refuses to acknowledge, this special was released into the wild through CBS and into the gap between Star Wars and The Empire Strikes back.  It features the debut of  Boba Fett …as well as a musical number featuring Bea Arthur. 

Signature Quote:  Uniformly golden, but watching Mike, Bill and Kevin rip apart some very 70s commercials is always a treat.  Fun note: Flying High has a Wikipedia entry thanks to this Riff.






2: The Room

Reason It’s On The List: The brainchild (or perhaps brainfart) of Tommy Wiseau, The Room is an urban romantic drama that could not be less romantic, appealing or dramatic.  Winning infamy after being shown on repeated April Fools Days on Adult Swim, it eventually became the modern day Manos;  the gang takes this one pretty dark and thus reaps some rich rewards.

Signature Quote: Bill: Tonight on Full House, Mom’s Still Dead!






1: The Twilight Series:

Reason It’s On The List: This is the one that really put Rifftrax on the map, this series  of teen movies based on the fantasy YA novel trilogy became a huge hit for the company, and rightly so.  They even tried to gather together enough money to riff the first movie live in a multi-theater simulcast, but was turned down by Sony – who promptly offered them Starship Troopers, Anaconda and Gozilla ’98 instead.  The actual riffing is perfect, live in the theater or not.


Signature Quote: Everyone, at least once: “LIIIIIIIIIINE?”

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